like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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