she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
