that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
