so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
