i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
