i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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