we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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