was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
