if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
now i know why i became what i already was.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
