your thong is hanging out like whoa
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
