i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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