last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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