I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
