just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
