He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
