I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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