You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
