You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
where am i from again
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Randomize
