She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
