It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
