Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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