Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I am one with the molecules
The power of my boobs compel you
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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