I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
