we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
