She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Found your dick twin last night
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
