Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
