Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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