I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
