He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
you made out with another girl for some wings
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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