I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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