Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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