Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
