My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
