don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Terrible idea I love it
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
