Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
