Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
lol hangovers are for mortals.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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