Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Randomize
