So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
