I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She's the barista slut.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
