My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
