Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
