Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My vagina just recognized that song.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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