I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Quick, to the slutcave!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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