508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
