theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
