You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
