I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
