Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
