She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
