Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
