turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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