LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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