so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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